It Wasn’t Just the Baby Blues”—Understanding Postnatal Depression in Malaysian Mothers

When the baby finally arrives, most people expect joy, excitement, and happy tears. But for many new mothers, the emotions that follow birth can be far more complicated. If you’ve felt overwhelmed, numb, irritable or even unlike yourself in the weeks or months after giving birth—you’re not alone. You could be experiencing something called postnatal depression (PND).

And it’s more common than you might think.

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What Is Postnatal Depression?

Postnatal depression is a type of clinical depression that can affect mothers (and even fathers!) after childbirth. It’s different from the “baby blues”—which is a short period of tearfulness and emotional ups and downs that most mothers experience in the first 1–2 weeks. PND lasts longer, feels deeper, and can interfere with your daily life.

In Malaysia, recent data suggests 1 in 5 new mothers may experience postnatal depression—but the number may be higher due to underreporting.

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What Does It Feel Like?

Not everyone experiences PND the same way. Some mothers describe it as:

“I didn’t recognise myself anymore. I loved my baby, but I felt numb.”

— Amira, first-time mother, Kota Kinabalu

Common signs include:

• Persistent sadness or crying without a clear reason

• Feeling irritable, hopeless, or guilty

• Trouble sleeping (even when the baby sleeps)

• Fatigue and loss of interest in things you used to enjoy

• Withdrawing from family or avoiding your baby

• Anxiety or intrusive thoughts

• In more severe cases, thoughts of self-harm or hurting the baby

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Why Does It Happen?

PND doesn’t mean you’re weak or failing. There are many causes, often a mix of biological, emotional and social factors:

• Hormonal shifts after birth

• Sleep deprivation

• Challenging labour or delivery

• Lack of support at home

• Previous mental health conditions

• Stress about money, relationships, or motherhood

In Malaysian culture, many mothers are expected to "pantang" (follow confinement rules), appear grateful, and stay quiet about their feelings—so emotional struggles often go unnoticed.

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When to Seek Help?

If your symptoms last more than two weeks, get worse, or you feel you can’t cope, it’s important to speak to a healthcare professional. You are not “too emotional”—you are experiencing a medical condition that deserves care.

You can talk to:

• Your KKIA nurse during postnatal home visits

• Your GP or OB-GYN

• A licensed counsellor or psychologist

• A psychiatrist, if needed

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Treatment Works—And You Can Get Better

Postnatal depression is treatable, and many mothers recover with:

• Counselling or therapy (talking really helps)

• Medication, if necessary (safe options exist even for breastfeeding mums)

• Peer support groups (sometimes just knowing you’re not alone is healing)

• Gentle lifestyle shifts: walks, rest, nutrition, talking to someone daily

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A Note for Husbands, MILs & Friends

New mums may look “fine” on the outside but struggle silently. If your wife, daughter, or friend seems off—ask gently, listen fully, and offer help without judgment.

“It was my husband who noticed I hadn’t smiled in days. He made the appointment for me. That small act saved me.”

— Lisa, mother of two, Penampang

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Local Resources in Kota Kinabalu

• KKIA Klinik Kesihatan: Free postnatal checkups and home visits

• Hospital Mesra Bukit Padang: Mental health unit

• Private psychologists: Look for licensed providers via Malaysian Society of Clinical Psychology

• LPPKN Counselling Services: Low-cost support for families and mothers

• Mama Support Circle KK (community initiative – check local Facebook groups)

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Final Words: You Are Not Alone

If you're reading this and wondering if something’s wrong—trust your gut. Motherhood is hard enough. You don’t have to smile through pain or pretend to be okay.

Asking for help is brave. Healing is possible. And you are absolutely not alone.