The Picky Eater Files: A Tale of Toast, Tears, and Ten Nibbles of Nothing

Picture this: You’ve slaved over a lovingly homemade chicken porridge, chopped everything into Pinterest-worthy micro-pieces, sang two renditions of “Baby Shark” just to get your toddler in the high chair…

…and they look at your efforts and say:

“I don’t like it.”

They haven’t even sniffed it. They just know. Welcome to the picky eater chapter of parenting — where toast is gourmet, and green things are the enemy.

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But Seriously... Why So Picky?

Because evolution, drama, and a need for power. That’s why.

“Children are biologically wired to be wary of new foods — especially bitter ones,”

— says Emily Tan, paediatric dietitian and toddler mealtime negotiator.

“It’s a survival instinct. Their brain says, ‘Green? Might be poison.’” Your brain says, ‘It’s bok choy, calm down.’

Meanwhile, your toddler’s personality is blossoming like a sarcastic little flower. And guess what? Food is one of the few things they can control.

“Picky eating is a power play, and it’s perfectly normal in toddlerhood,”

— Dr. Sarah Ong, Consultant Paediatrician.

“They can’t choose bedtime, but they can spit out their carrots in protest.”

And then there’s the texture issue. One day mashed potatoes are life. The next day? “It’s too squishy, Mama. I’m scared.”

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What Does a Picky Eater Look Like?

Oh, you'll know when you see one:

• Eats the same three things every day

• Cries because their banana broke in half

• Declares war on anything green

• Gags dramatically at textures you didn’t know had textures

• Pretends to be full, then asks for biscuits

• Baby clamps mouth shut at every meal

• Toddler only eats white or beige foods

• Wants the same food every day (but only on the yellow plate)

• Chews, then spits it out dramatically like a soap opera villai

Basically: a tiny dictator with very strong culinary opinions and zero filter.

“My 2-year-old cried because I cut the toast the ‘wrong shape’. Then she licked the wall. That was breakfast.”

— Aisyah, KK mum of three

“Don’t stress unless their growth is affected,”

— says Dr. Ong.

“Most picky eaters are still thriving — they just prefer to survive on toast and vibes.”

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Okay But... What Can We Do Without Losing It?

1. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat

Your child might need to see a new food 15 times before they accept it. Or 50. Or never. Keep offering anyway.

> “No pressure. No bribes. Just exposure,” says Emily.

“Let them poke it. Smell it. Wear it like a hat. That’s still progress.”

2. Eat Together Like It’s NBD

Nothing makes broccoli cooler than watching you eat it like a boss. Eat with them — no TV, no distractions, just casual chewing.

3. Drop the Drama

No begging. No bribing. No sobbing into the rice cooker (we’ve all been there). Be cool. Be Switzerland. Be indifferent.

“You don’t have to love it, but it’s what we’re having.”

Say it with the energy of a mum who’s seen some things.

4. One Meal Fits All

No more restaurant-level custom orders for every family member. Cook one meal with at least one “safe food” (rice, bread, cucumber slices). If they eat just that? Still a win.

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When It’s More Than Just a Phase

If your child:

• Chokes or vomits often at mealtimes

• Refuses entire food groups

• Isn’t growing well

• Has extreme reactions to textures

…it might be something more than fussy eating. Conditions like ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder) or sensory sensitivities exist — and help is available.

“Getting professional support early makes a huge difference,”

— says Dr. Kavitha Krishnan, child nutritionist.

“You’re not failing — you’re figuring things out.”

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Real Parent Voices

“My daughter ate fish fingers for 47 meals straight. Then one day she looked me dead in the eye and said, ‘I’m over it.’”

— June, mum of two picky legends

“We call vegetables ‘crunchy power bites’. Works 40% of the time. The other 60% ends with raisins and regrets.”

— Adrian, father of a 4-year-old food critic

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Final Food for Thought

Your job isn’t to make your child eat. It’s to offer good food, consistently, without pressure. Their job is to eat... or not. And that’s okay.

“You’re teaching them that food is safe, mealtimes are calm, and their body is trustworthy,”

— says Emily.

“That matters more than whether they eat the broccoli today.”

So next time your child declares war on spaghetti because “the noodles are too noodle-y,” take a deep breath. Laugh (later). Offer it again tomorrow. And remember — picky is normal, but patience is parenting gold.