Road Rage, Roundabouts & the Great Grab Driver Gamble

A crash course (not literally, we hope) in Malaysian road culture. Featuring rogue scooters, spiritual traffic lights, and the eternal mystery of “Where you going ah?”

By Luna Dawson | Lokal by Luna

If you’ve recently moved to Malaysia and think your biggest driving challenge will be switching to the other side of the road — oh sweet summer expat, you're in for a ride.

Here in Malaysia, driving isn't just a means of transport. It’s a sport. A negotiation. Sometimes a spiritual journey. And always, always a gamble.

First Things First: The Roundabout Roulette

Let’s talk about roundabouts. Malaysians love a roundabout. And I don’t mean gentle UK-style ones with signs, rules, and logic. No. I mean:

• Five-lane free-for-alls

• No clear right-of-way

• Motorbikes flying in from parallel dimensions

You think you're entering with purpose, then suddenly you're spiralling like Frodo in Mordor.“Am I going to Bangsar or Narnia?” Hard to say.

Traffic Lights: Suggestions, Not Laws

If a light turns red and there’s no one around… did it really turn red? Ask five drivers. You'll get six answers and a shrug.

Also, beware the “spiritual green light” — where cars start moving two seconds before the light turns, as though guided by divine prophecy or sheer impatience.

And on public holidays? Traffic rules go on vacation too.

Motorbikes: The Shadow Army

They’re everywhere. Between lanes. On pavements. Sometimes appearing inside your car emotionally.

Do not attempt to understand their logic. Do not swerve suddenly. Just accept that they move like fish in a coral reef and you are the reef — slow, bulky, and in their way.

Enter: The Great Grab Driver Gamble™

Grab is a gift from the heavens. But it's also an emotional rollercoaster featuring:

• “I’m nearby” (They’re 15 minutes away, stuck on a flyover)

• “Where you going ah?” (You already put it in the app, but sure)

• “Can can” (Means yes. Could also mean no, but I don’t want to argue)

• “Wait ya, I makan first” (At least he’s honest?)

One time, I had a Grab driver pick me up in a car with three other people already inside.Was it carpooling? Was it a side hustle? Was it a social experiment? We’ll never know.

Rage? Nah. Just Honking With Love (Probably)

Malaysian drivers don’t really scream or flip the bird.They honk. Not angrily. Not always. Just... constantly.

Sometimes it means:

• “I see you.”

• “Move, please.”

• “Just checking if my horn still works.”

You’ll get used to it. Kind of like an urban mating call.

Navigation Pro Tips (From a Survivor)

1. Waze is king. Google Maps will send you into a river.

2. Always check for one-way roads. They appear like jump scares.

3. Learn landmark navigation. No one knows road names.

4. “Near the 7-Eleven” is valid GPS.

Parking Will Break You

• Parallel parking on a slope in Penang? That’s your new workout.

• Shopping mall parking? Bring a packed lunch — you’re going in.

• Condo guest parking? Haha.

Bonus tip: always have coins for the ancient machines that reject your fancy touchless card. Or bribe your child with snacks to help push the ticket in.

Final Thoughts from a Woman Who Once Missed Her Turn Six Times

Malaysian road culture is chaos — but it’s organised chaos. Like durian. Or Chinese New Year fireworks. Or toddlers on sugar.

You’ll mess up. You’ll go the wrong way. You’ll cry the first time you reverse into a three-point death alley behind a mamak stall. But one day? You’ll zip around like a local, weaving through traffic while eating kuih and talking on speakerphone.

(Please don’t. But you could.)

New behind the wheel or traumatised from your first roundabout? Share your traffic horror story under our “Expat Confessions” — or check out our guide to beginner-friendly road trips across Malaysia (with minimal honking).