No More “Do As I Say” — Why Digital-Age Parenting Starts with You

Remember when our parents told us, “Because I said so” — and that was the end of the conversation? Well, welcome to 2025. Our kids have Google, TikTok, and a built-in radar for hypocrisy. In the digital age, parenting isn’t about orders — it’s about modelling.

If you’re doomscrolling on your phone while telling your 10-year-old to “get off Roblox,” you’ve already lost the argument.

Kids Don’t Listen, They Copy

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: children are less influenced by what we say and far more by what they see us doing. A 2022 study found that children whose parents used phones heavily were twice as likely to exceed recommended daily screen time themselves.

Monkey see, monkey scroll.

And it’s not just about screens. How you speak online, how you treat strangers in a WhatsApp group, how you react to news — all of it teaches your child what “normal” digital behaviour looks like.

Your Digital Habits = Their Digital Blueprint

• If you answer work emails at the dinner table, don’t be surprised when your teen checks Discord during family outings.

• If you scroll past midnight, they’ll think late-night TikTok binges are just fine.

• If you overshare your life on social media, they’ll believe posting every emotion is the way to process feelings.

Basically, you are your child’s first influencer. Forget MrBeast — you’re the original algorithm.

Flip the Script: Lead, Don’t Lecture

So how do we turn this around?

1. Practise What You Preach: Want screen-free dinners? Put your own phone away first.

2. Narrate Your Choices: Tell your child why you unfollowed a toxic account, or why you fact-checked an article. Make the invisible visible.

3. Set Collective Rules: Instead of “No phone for you,” try “No phones for all of us during meals.” Shared boundaries stick better.

4. Show Digital Joy, Not Just Discipline: Play a silly game together, watch a documentary, FaceTime grandma. Let them see tech used for connection and growth.

The Power of “We” Over “Me”

Here’s the real mindset shift: digital-age parenting isn’t about policing kids. It’s about partnering with them. When you model healthy, balanced behaviour, you’re not just enforcing rules — you’re creating a shared digital culture at home.

Your child doesn’t need a parent who preaches but doesn’t practise. They need a guide who shows, not just tells.

Start With the Mirror

So next time you’re tempted to tell your child, “Get off your phone,” pause and ask yourself: What message am I sending with mine?

Because in this new world, parenting isn’t about “do as I say.” It’s about do as I do.

And the good news? That gives you more power than any app, filter, or parental control ever could.