Dinner Drama Diaries: Raising a Tiny Food Snob (Send Help & Soy Sauce)

So, you think your kid is a picky eater?

Honey, join the club—we meet nightly at 6pm, and the only thing on the menu is tears and leftover rice.

Let’s face it: Malaysian kids are world-class food critics. Not the kind that gets a Michelin star, but the kind who’d make Gordon Ramsay walk out mid-service. I’m talking about the kind who can detect one invisible speck of “something green,” then spend the next hour giving you the side-eye and a TED Talk on Why This Meal Is an Insult to Humanity.

The True Hallmarks of the Sabahan Food Snob:

• Rice too sticky? 30-minute monologue.

• Fish has “the face”? Cancelled. Even if it’s a fillet.

• You cut their sandwich wrong? Congratulations, you just unlocked Level 5 Meltdown Mode.

• Same chicken, cooked same way, tastes “weird” today? Welcome to the Twilight Zone.

  
  

Actual quotes from the field:

• “Mama, my noodles are… making me sad.”

• “Why is my egg looking at me?”

• “This rice smells like fridge. I want grandma’s rice.”

  
  

Why Are Kids So Fussy? (Spoiler: Not Even Science Knows)

Is it sensory? Is it a power move? Are they just here to remind you that control is an illusion?Yes. All of the above. Science says kids have more taste buds. I say it’s a conspiracy funded by the Baby Biscuit Cartel.

T4Tots' Totally Unqualified, 100% Relatable Survival Guide

1. Stop Trying to Be Jamie Oliver. If your kid wants plain roti and plain water for dinner—that’s a balanced meal in this house. Tell the judgy aunties to come over and cook if they care so much.

2. One Meal Fits All. You are not a buffet. You are not a mamak. They eat what you eat, or they eat air. (Surprise: air has zero calories and is 100% organic.)

3. Repetition Is Not a Crime.Let them eat fish fingers for three weeks straight. There’s protein in there somewhere. You think your parents worried about “variety”? Please. They just worried you didn’t burn the house down.

4. Embrace the Chaos. Did they lick a carrot today? Victory. Brag to your WhatsApp group. Take a photo.

5. Dinner Table Tantrum? Channel Your Inner Buddha. Smile, nod, and mentally escape to Bali. The food will still be there in five minutes. Your sanity is what matters.

Remember: Every Parent Is Faking It

That Instagram mum with the bento box shaped like Pikachu? She cried in her car before drop-off. Your neighbour’s kid who “eats everything”? Caught him eating tissue once.We’re all just out here, hoping nobody notices the ketchup stains on our shirts and the Maggi in our hearts.

So, here’s your pep talk: Picky eating isn’t a crime. Your child is not broken. You’re not failing—you’re surviving.And one day, your tiny food snob will grow up, eat sambal, and annoy their own kids about “just try one bite.”

Until then, pass the soy sauce. And if all else fails…there’s always chicken nuggets.