Bullying in Malaysian Schools: Enough Excuses. Here’s What Actually Works.

Why this matters now

On 3–4 August 2025, national outlets reported on Zara Qairina, a 13-year-old student in Sabah whose death has sparked allegations of bullying and calls for a transparent probe. The Prime Minister publicly promised a full investigation; Sabah voices are demanding prosecutions if bullying is confirmed. This isn’t “drama”; it’s safeguarding. Kids are dying, and trust in the system is on the line.

Zoom out: Malaysia’s struggle with serious bullying isn’t new. The UPNM/Zulfarhan case—first handed death sentences by the Court of Appeal in July 2024 and then revised by the Federal Court in February 2025 to 18-year prison terms—remains a national scar and a reminder that “ragging” is violence, not culture.

And it’s not rare. KPM’s own figures show school-reported bullying cases rising from 3,887 (2022) to 4,994–5,891 (2023), with thousands more in 2024 by October. Whether you take the lower or higher 2023 number, the curve is up—not acceptable.

What bullying looks like here (2025, Malaysia)

• Physical / verbal: shoves, threats, name-calling; “tapau” or “tax” demands in canteens.

• Social / relational: being frozen out of groups, “don’t sit with her” campaigns, mass uninvites.

• Cyberbullying: edited photos, pile-ons in group chats, doxxing. Serious online abuse may trigger CMA s.233 (improper network use), but you still act first through school safeguarding.

This is not “budak-budak biasa”. UNICEF has long warned of the lasting mental health harm from bullying; one international poll found 1 in 3 young people report online bullying. Malaysia is part of that reality.

How to know if your child is being bullied

Look for clusters of signals rather than one-offs:

• Unexplained injuries; lost or damaged items; reluctance to go to school.

• Headaches, stomach aches, sleep trouble; appetite changes; slipping grades.

• Sudden social withdrawal; dread around phones or certain chats.

Why they may not tell you: fear of backlash, shame, not wanting to be seen as “weak”, or believing nothing will change. Your job: believe, stabilise, document, act. 

Quick script (first conversation)

• “I’m glad you told me. I believe you. This is not your fault. We’ll handle this together.”

• “You get to choose who else we tell and I’ll keep you updated on every step.”(These statements mirror trauma-informed guidance used by child-protection agencies.)

How to know if your child is doing the bullying

Hard medicine, but essential:

• They minimise others’ feelings (“relax lah, just a joke”), blame targets, or enjoy “roasting” that always cuts.

• Controlling behaviour with friends; secrecy around alt accounts or private groups.

• Teachers mention intimidation, exclusion games, or “leaders” who push others to do the dirty work.If this rings bells, intervene now: meet the class teacher/GBK, set clear limits, and build empathy/repair plans. (Consequences and skill-building can—and should—coexist.)

What to do as parents (Malaysia edition)

0) Safety first (today)

• Change travel routes/seating; arrange buddy systems.

• Screenshot everything (dates, times, usernames, URLs). Don’t retaliate online.

1) Trigger the school’s formal process—in writing

KPM standardised school responses under SPI KPM Bil. 12/2023. Email/WhatsApp the Class Teacher, Guru Bimbingan & Kaunseling (GBK) and PK HEM with: what happened, when/where, who’s involved, screenshots, and what immediate safety steps you expect (supervised transitions, seating changes, chat moderation). Ask for a written timeline per the guideline.

2) Use the official reporting channels

If school action stalls or risk is high, report directly via Portal Aduan Buli KPM (hotline 03-8884 9352, WhatsApp 014-800 9325, email adubuli@moe.gov.my, or SISPA). Keep your case number.

3) Get psychosocial support

• Talian Kasih 15999 (WhatsApp 019-261 5999)—24/7 helpline for guidance and referrals.

• Befrienders KL 03-7627 2929—free, confidential emotional support for parents/teens.

4) If there are threats/assaults/sexual elements

Make a police report. For cyberabuse, keep originals (don’t crop metadata). Section 233 CMA can apply in serious online cases; schools still must act on school-based impact regardless.

What to tell your child who is being bullied (practical, repeatable)

Calm their nervous system

• “Breathe with me: in 4, hold 2, out 6.” (Do it together. Then talk.)

Name it

• “This is bullying. It’s not a misunderstanding, and it’s not on you to fix their behaviour.”

Plan the next 48 hours

• “Here’s what I’m doing today: email teacher/GBK/PK HEM with screenshots.Here’s what we’ll decide together: who to tell at school, where you feel safest.”

Give exit lines (not counter-attacks)

• “Saya tak setuju. I’m leaving this chat.”

• “Stop. I’m keeping this message.”

• “Cikgu, boleh tolong sekarang?” (Move to safety + get an adult.)

Rebuild the day

• “Who are your safe people? Which classes feel okay? Where do you want me to meet you after school?”

Repeat the ground truth

• “You are not alone. It’s not your fault. We’re acting—and I’ll keep you informed.”

(These mirror evidence-based guidance from anti-bullying organisations and child-protection playbooks.)

For schools (because policy without practice is theatre)

• Visible routes to report: QR to GBK, anonymous box, weekly reminders.

• Parent partnership on tech: phones charge outside bedrooms; messaging curfews; no posting/screenshotting friends without consent.

• Rapid, written responses: acknowledge within 24 hours; safety plan within 48; review at Day 7 and Day 15—then close only with parent + student sign-off.These align with KPM’s directive to record, investigate, counsel and act—not bury.

  
  

If your child was the bully: repair, don’t rationalise

• Own it (“I did harm”), face it (school consequences), repair it (apology + behaviour plan), learn it (counselling/SEL skills). Early intervention reduces repeat behaviour; denial entrenches it.

Final word

Bullying isn’t a “kids will be kids” phase. It’s a safety failure. In Zara’s case, the country is watching for accountability; in your child’s case, you are the first line of defence. Believe, document, report, protect—and keep the door open for hard conversations at home. CNA

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Quick reference

Recent cases (context & stakes)

• News outlets: Zara Qairina (Sabah, July–Aug 2025) — national police probe; public outcry and calls for accountability.

• News outlets: UPNM/Zulfarhan Osman case — Federal Court (28 Feb 2025) sets 18-year prison terms (manslaughter).

Policy & school procedures (Malaysia)

• SPI KPM Bil. 12/2023 — official circular on managing bullying in KPM institutions.

• Portal Aduan Buli KPM — official complaint channels & contacts (03-8884 9352; WhatsApp 014-800 9325; adubuli@moe.gov.my)

Helplines (parents & students)

• Talian Kasih 15999 / WhatsApp 019-261 5999 — 24/7 support (KPWKM).

• Befrienders KL (24/7) 03-7627 2929 — official site & services page.

Cyberbullying law & enforcement

• CMA 1998 s.233 — “improper use of network services” (statutory text).

• 2025 CMA amendments focus on online safety/cyberbullying (MCMC/Bernama).

Prevalence & harms (Malaysia/global)

• UNICEF global poll — ~1 in 3 young people report online bullying (30-country survey).

• UNICEF Malaysia brief — consequences of bullying; local concern and context.

• MoE figures via media — 4,994 school bullying cases Jan–Oct 2023 (Dewan Rakyat).

Practical guidance used in the article

• UNICEF: What cyberbullying is & how to stop it — plain-language guidance that informs the “scripts” and response steps.