You’re Officially in the Team No Sleep League

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Sleep deprivation isn’t just a meme — it’s a biological hostage situation.

You will:

• Forget what day it is

• Fall asleep while standing

• Question all your life choices at 3am while staring into the void (or a dirty diaper)

What actually helps:

• Take shifts – If your partner is breastfeeding, step up with diaper duty, burping, or ninja-level swaddling.

• Nap when baby naps – Yes, even if it’s 11am and your body says “nah.”

• Skip the Netflix binge – That last episode won’t help when baby wakes up screaming 40 mins later.

• Sleep is not a luxury. It’s a survival tool. Recharge so you can function — and not start hallucinating the fridge talking to you.

Learn to Handle a Baby Like a Boss

Babies are floppy, unpredictable, and louder than their size should allow. But good news: they don’t need perfection — just confidence, safety, and a calm-ish vibe.

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Here’s your basic dad skill set to unlock:

• Swaddling like a burrito ninja (Pro tip: YouTube is your sensei)

• Nappy changes at lightning speed before they squirm off the mat

• Burping without getting milk-showered (okay, less milk-showered)

• Holding a baby without looking like you’re diffusing a bomb

• Staying chill even when they scream like you owe them money

The more you do it, the more natural it becomes. Promise. One day you’ll be bouncing baby, sipping kopi, and texting one-handed like a total pro.

Mental Load: She Feels It. You Should Too.

Just because she looks like she’s got it together doesn’t mean the weight isn’t crushing. The mental load of parenting is real — and often invisible.

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So don’t wait to be asked. Step in. Step up.

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Start here:

• Restock the nappies before she says, “Eh, habis sudah!”

• Schedule baby check-ups and vaccinations — yes, you can call the clinic

• Tackle the laundry before Mount Onesie erupts all over the floor

• Keep track of what baby needs (and what she needs too)

Emotional labour is exhausting. Be the dad who notices, not the one who stands by scrolling. Love isn’t passive — it’s proactive.

• Communicate Like You’re on the Same Team

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• You and your partner are now co-CEOs of a chaotic little start-up called:
  “Keep The Baby Alive (and Don’t Divorce).”

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• There will be bickering. There will be misunderstandings. There will be silent treatments over who forgot to buy wet wipes.

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• Here’s what helps:

• Say what you need — clearly. “I’m burnt out” works better than vague sighs and emotional smoke signals.

• Listen without fixing. (Yes, we know it’s hard. Do it anyway.)

• Celebrate tiny wins. Like surviving bedtime without anyone crying — including you.

• Remember: you’re on the same side. The mission is messy, but the team is strong.

Bonding Takes Time (And That’s Okay)

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​Babies don’t hand out instant emotional connection certificates.

You might feel awkward. Unsure. Even disconnected at first. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong — it means you’re human.

Here’s how to build the bond:

• Skin-to-skin time. Yes, shirt off, baby on — it’s not just for mums.

• Create a ritual. Your own song. Your signature cuddle dance. That weird burping move only you do.

• Go for walks and talks. They may not understand the words, but they feel your presence.

• Repeat this mantra: The love grows. Keep showing up.

Connection doesn’t always come in a flash — sometimes it’s built in sleepy feeds, silly songs, and quiet moments. Keep at it, boss dad. You're getting there.

Don’t Forget to Feed Yourself Too

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​She’s not the only one who needs nourishment — you’re in the trenches too.

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You need:

• Actual meals – Not just leftover roti canai and half a cold sausage from your toddler’s plate

• Water. Yes, water. Not just Milo, kopi ais, or your fifth teh tarik of the day, Mr. Milo Man

• A break. Walk. Podcast. Stare into space. Scream-sing in the car. Whatever keeps you grounded

• Fuel = function. A well-fed dad is a more patient, present, and emotionally regulated dad

Eat like someone who matters. Because you do.

If You’re Struggling, Say Something

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Fatherhood can be lonely. Overwhelming. Even dark.

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If you feel:

• Detached

• Like you’re failing

• Emotionally shut down or numb

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Say something.

Talk to your partner. A friend. A doctor. A therapist.
Ask for help — not because you’re weak, but because you matter.

Mental health isn’t just for mums.
You deserve support too.