One day you're just a regular guy doing what you do, in peace.

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The next, you're googling “is this normal baby poop?” at 2am with one hand while holding a bottle in the other.

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Becoming a dad doesn’t just change your routine — it changes your identity. You're suddenly “the dad". Which comes with unsolicited advice, invisible expectations, and fewer solo toilet breaks than you'd like to admit.

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And while it’s incredible… it’s also disorienting.

Where did you go? The one with hobbies, sleep, and a Spotify playlist that didn’t include Baby Shark?

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It’s okay to feel like you lost yourself for a bit. You’re not gone — just evolving.

Let’s talk about the list.

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You're expected to:

• Be calm and emotionally available

• Provide financially

• Be supportive and helpful

• Have six-pack abs (???)

• And still change a diaper at ninja speed with no complaints

 

Meanwhile, you're running on cold kopi and crusts from your toddler’s toast.

 

Here’s the thing:

You don't have to be Superdad™.
You just have to be real, and present, and willing to grow.

No one has it all together. Some dads are just better at hiding the cereal in their beard.

Yup — there’s grief too.

Not the dramatic, movie-montage kind, but the quiet ache of:

• “I miss who I was.”

• “I don’t recognise myself anymore.”

• “My PS5 hasn’t been touched since the baby was born and I might cry about it.”

 

You can love your new life…
and still miss the old one. That doesn’t make you ungrateful — it makes you human.

 

So go ahead. Mourn the freedom, the silence, the spontaneous lepak sessions.
Then remind yourself — this season is hard, but it’s also shaping you into someone even deeper.

Good news: You’re not gone.

You're just... under construction.

Rebuilding your identity doesn’t mean becoming a “New You” overnight.
 

It means:

• Remembering what you love

• Making space (even tiny, stolen moments) for it

• Giving yourself permission to exist beyond nappies, spreadsheets, and Peppa Pig

 

So:

• Blast that old playlist on your commute

• Text the group chat, even if it’s dead

• Fix something just for fun

• Sit in the car for 5 extra minutes of silence before going inside (we know you do it)

 

Every small act of self-care is a brick in rebuilding you.

You might not feel like you’re doing much...

But you are:

• You're showing up, even when you’re tired enough to weep into your sandwich

• You’re choosing connection, even when all you want is 5 minutes alone

• You’re growing — slowly, awkwardly, beautifully — into the dad your kid will look up to

 

And THAT deserves a damn trophy (or at least a hot meal without sharing).

So hold your head high, Dad.

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You haven’t lost yourself — you’re just getting to know a new, stronger, slightly more sleep-deprived version of you.

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And he’s awesome.